Renewed

March was a busy month for me. For most of the month, I was sorta depressed, very anxious for no real reason. I just was. I also traveled to Spain for 9 days for work, which I really enjoyed. It made me realize how much I really do enjoy traveling, especially on someone else's dime (my job's). I also realized that with a baby, traveling for work would be a bit harder. I'm still not sure how I would swing it. Part of me thinks that I'd try international travel with a baby at least once. Either bringing along a nanny or family member for childcare. Otherwise I'd have to leave Baby M with my parents or someone else for the week. I've basically concluded that I'd have to cross that bridge when I get to it.

I also suspect that part of my blah ness during March is due to my thyroid. I have an appointment to get it rechecked at the end of April. I also have yet to make an appointment with a therapist. I know that I need to, and I've found a great one. I just haven't done it yet. But. It will be done and soon. I think I've found one who would also be a good therapist for pregnancy/postpartum as well. We shall see how it goes.

Lastly, I went to a friend's baby shower today. At first, I didn't feel like going, but now I'm glad that I did. It was really good for me. It renewed my feelings about eventually having a baby. My friend and her husband are so excited about their first. And I'm happy for them as well. Their nursery was really nice, and it was just good all around not only to have baby talk, but to also just get out and socialize.

So. Baby in 2015. 2014 is all about being healthy. Financially, physically, and emotionally. Financially I am getting out of credit card debt so that I can improve my credit score and afford fertility treatments. The money that will be freed in my budget will eventually fund childcare. Physically, I need to lose more weight. I need to tone and I'd like to be a solid 6 before pregnancy. That means losing 10 lbs. And emotionally? I need to get a better handle on my anxiety. I'm pretty sure I've finished mourning being single, plus it's not like having a baby will mean I'm FOREVER ALONE. It just means focusing on having a baby while I'm younger and able. It also doesn't mean I wouldn't be open to more kids with a spouse, but it does mean I'm not willing to wait for Mr Right to show up when that may not happen until I'm past my fertile years.

So today, I'm renewed.